Speak Kindness!

It always feels so natural around the start of the year to clean house, make resolutions, start new habits and kick out the old!  So for my new beginning, this year I really started thinking about the way I speak and communicate with others and myself.  We have so many interactions throughout the day and if you are like me, then you have several different types of conversations depending upon the context, company and environment .  For me, I go from "Sales Manager Steph" to "Doula Steph" to "Casual Friend Steph"- not to mention the continuous inner dialogue.  I found that for me there is growth to be had in ALL areas.  

As I was researching my 2014 Action Plan to turn this vision into a reality, I ran across a great book I read a while back so I decided to bring it out for a re-read. 

Words Can Change Your Brain

The Neuroscience of Communication

by Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman

 

As I started breezing through the book again all I could think about was my doula work and how this information could be so impactful for expecting families, especially my mommas out there.  The underlying theme of the book is the connection that our words we attach with an experience, ultimately becomes the experience.  It provides steps in how to recognize the associations and create what they call Compassionate Communication.  It is a fantastic and insightful "ah-ha" read!

 

I believe deep down that a healthy pregnancy and positive birth experience is connected to your mentality- I FIRMLY believe in this.  Our thoughts and words have the ability to shape our experiences, outcomes, emotions and ultimately our world.  It is the reason why I have adopted the Hyponobirthing vocabulary in my doula practice.  The Hyponobirthing technique uses mind over matter to take you to a peaceful place. 

Allow me to give you a few examples......

 

"Ok, let's get ready here comes another contraction....breathe, breathe, puuushhh......"

 

What type of feeling does this spark inside of you?  Does it make you anxious?  Does it give you a mental picture of a woman in an intense position, blood red in the face and breathing excitedly and out of control? 

 

Using the Hypnobirthing technique you would maybe hear these words.

 

"Ok, let's get ready for the next surge, keep your breath calm and even, use the strength of your breath to breathe the baby down.....

 

It may feel and sound silly at first but none the less it could break the association with fear, anxiety and pain that most women report while thinking about the birth process during pregnancy or during the experience itself.  Change your words, change your experience!

 

All in all, I encourage and support a more mindful and positive dialogue within yourself, with your baby and throughout the birthing experience.  To me, it is absolutely magical that your are able to create your own peaceful, healthy, empowering, beautiful birth experience.   Make it just what YOU imagine it to be- not what you heard, not what they told you....this is YOUR birth.  Just like any habit it takes practice.  I challenge you, and I challenge your spouse to create your own peaceful dialogue and practice.

 

A couple quick steps to get you started:

1.  Make a reminder board of your personal and/or birth associated words you would like to transition to more positive ones.  Place it on the fridge or bathroom mirror where you both can see daily.

2.  Take time each day to meditate, start taking yourself to a peaceful, quiet place.  The more you practice the quicker and easier it will be able to get there.

3.  Visualize your birth experience.  Whether you like to write it down, discuss with your spouse, a girlfriend, your doula, or keep within yourself....start visualizing yourself birthing your baby and incorporate your positive words and relaxation techniques.

 

I'd love to hear where it takes you!  Keep it real, keep it simple!

 

For more about Hypnobirthing check out:

http://hypnobirthing.com/childbirth_classes.htm