I am 29 weeks now with my first child and I have absolutely loved being pregnant, planning my birth, and taking great care of my growing body and baby on this journey. My trainings as a doula, my clients, birth experiences, books, articles, workshops, etc., have taught me so much that certainly I was fully prepared for childbirth....not so much the case! Just like everyone else, I have had times of feeling overwhelmed, stressed and fearful. It's natural. I just have a bit of a head start maybe compared to other first time moms. I have read a lot of books, birth research, statistics and assisted women in all different kinds of birth scenarios.
Being pregnant and a doula for families has been a lot more difficult than I imagined. We are really in the same position, making the same types of decisions, and in the end wanting the same outcome- a healthy, happy baby. But as I am learning quickly, there is always that feeling of comparison and judgement when it comes to parenting and children. I have had a lot of my girlfriends with kids explain this to me before. It's like the "my kid is better than yours" stories. And it certainly begins in pregnancy. Many clients or those who know my profession are always curious in my decisions on childbirth. The most common reaction I get is "I figured you would do it that way". It makes me laugh and I am so ok with that response. But what I don't want for people to feel is a sense that my way is the only way I support. I most certainly have my own opinions and choices for my baby and body but I would never judge or pressure mothers into making the same decision as me. We are all just too different and there are so many ways to make your birth perfect, and absolutely beautiful for your situation and family.
If I had children years ago when most of my friends starting having babies my choices may have been quite different. What has changed for me outside of personal growth with just getting older, is my knowledge about the subject, access to information and I have seen a lot of births. The more you know the more comfortable you feel with making decisions and with no regret might I add. It has become easier to make choices with and for my family and then sit with those feelings of doing the right thing for me!
This is me and this is the me I like to share with others. Knowledge is certainly powerful. Becoming pregnant and making decisions for the life another is no easy task. There are lots of options out there; none of which I will say are right or wrong or judge. But what I will do is help you explore all the options. It is empowering to choose, to plan, to practice for your birth. It should be one of the most exciting times of your life. Isn't that why people do it again and again?!?!?
What I am envisioning for my own birth story is what I envision for all lovely pregos out there....a beautiful birth story, a calm, peaceful, easy birth. A healthy body and baby, minimal interventions, a supportive birth team, no complications, after birth bonding time, ease of breastfeeding, and absolute pure bliss and joy! And what I want you to know and feel is that this is not asking for much. Live. Create. Imagine. Birth. YOUR STORY!
